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Ole Jus and I attended a funeral earlier this week for the
mother-in-law of a guy that works at the ranch with him. She was only 53. It
was cancer, and you know how I feel about cancer from this post last summer. We
didn’t know her, but wanted to support him and his wife. As I sat there
listening to all the kind things being told about what sounded like an
incredible person full of life and love, I thought about funerals in general.
Then I thought about my own. I’ve told Ole Jus one very important point in
regards to my funeral. He won’t remember. So I figured the best plan is to
write it down, have several hundred people take note, then leave it to them/you
to help out Ole Widower Jus if the time comes.
(Please note, that these are only my wishes. Not everyone will agree and I respect that. Only a few
years ago, my mom chose to use this part of scripture as part of my grandfather’s
service. Also, I am no biblical scholar, nor do I claim to be. These are my opinions
based on my experience, knowledge and personality. And let’s admit there’s a
lot more of the latter than the first two of those.)
What is this very important command request I have
for the days following my death?
Do not read,
print or sing the 23rd Psalm!!! No 23rd Psalm!
The 23rd Psalm should not be, in any way, shape or form,
part of my “celebration of life”. It is a common verse of scripture that is
used in many funerals and memorial services in our day and age. If you aren’t
exactly sure what it says, let me oblige…
Psalm 23
A
Psalm of David.
The Lord
is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Amen. Hallelujah. Great verse. We know
that David was a man after God’s own heart. His words, all of them throughout
scripture, are magnificent and can be used and studied in so many areas to make
us better Christians, BUT this is not one for a funeral! Let me explain myself
in a few notes.
1.
The first three verses show me that
God is in control. He provides all I will ever need. He disciplines me. He
heals, restores me. He shows me the ways that are right. He uses me for His
greater purpose.
2.
Verse 4 is the one that shifts me in
my seat every time I hear or read it at a funeral. It tells us that when we
face death, God is with us. Other versions use “darkness” in place of the word “death”.
Either way, whether traveling through the valley of the shadow of death, or experiencing
some of the dark moments life throws our way, God is there. We do not have to
fear because He is our protector and our comforter. I agree to some degree.
3.
The last verses of chapter 23 assure
us that God has great things for us. In spite of the darkness this broken world
promises, God will bring us through it. He has more than we can ever imagine
for each one of us on the flipside of all the darkness and shadows of death.
Like
I said, great words. I feel the scripture is intended to comfort those who have
been left behind in the wake of death... those still living in this broken world
coping with a loss. When those people read the words, they find solace in the
fact that their loved one is not alone during death, and God is
watching over them beyond this lifetime.
The
popular scripture says, “Yea, even though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me…” And this is my
point…
The shadow
of death is here on earth. When I’m dead, I will have overcome every ounce of
death and any shred of darkness this world offers. He will not be watching over
me. I WILL BE WORSHIPPING AT HIS FEET.
I will not dwell in His house one day, I will be dwelling and partying it up inside the heavenly
gates the very day you people are mourning me. God promises an eternity of love
and perpetual peace for those that truly love Him. The moment this life is
ended for me, I’ll take up my permanent residence in a place that has no end. I
won’t need healing, restoration and protection. I will be healed. I’ll be made
new and perfect. Protection won’t be necessary because the place He has
prepared for me is void of all evil. There won’t be any working for His purpose.
His purpose will have won out by that time.
Don’t let anyone read that verse! And don’t cry for me because I’m
gone. Cry for Ole Jus, my family and dear friends who are coping with the idea
of a life without me. The only hurt, fear and pain I plan to experience is what
this life brings. I’m leaving all the
ugly, nasty and brokenness of this world behind the day I take my last breath.
In case he needs a little more help, Ole Jus may want to say
some things. Here are some ideas…
“A life without Lacy is not one I want to live.”
“If you take cooking out of the equation, she was really
great at everything.”
“God must have really liked me to have given me such an
incredible, unbelievably generous wife. I feel like the luckiest man on earth
to have spent my best years with her. She was so beautiful and funny. Her lips
were the best to kiss and her smile was the best to witness. I am forever changed,
and will never recover until the day I die. (Unless I find someone exactly like
her who can also cook.)”
Smaller, less passionate requests: No jokes about how I
controlled things through a blog post in 2015 even after I was gone. If you
insist on sending flowers instead of donating to a charity, I am quite fond
confetti roses and hydrangeas.
And lastly, I thought about what everyone might say about me
when my time comes. Which words will they choose to speak from the pulpit to
remember me? What will my close friends post on Facebook? What will they whisper
in the pews before my service starts?
I hope they/you say this…
Lacy was one of a kind. She loved with an energy very few
people possess. She used every God given breath to make people laugh and feel valued.
Knowing Lacy meant you always felt like someone was on your side. Through her writing
and words, she helped and encouraged people from all walks of life.
Mostly
importantly, Lacy taught me how to laugh and love the way she did. I am a
better person because I knew her.
Start living out the things you want people to say about you here in the shadows of death!
That’s my plan from here on out…FROM THIS SIDE OF THIRTY.
Labels: Life, Spiritual Growth
