Boy do I have a treat for you! Last week I had vision
correction surgery. My number 2 took me in for the procedure (that’s Cassie,
the BFF. We tell our husbands they are number 1 of course).The only reason that
this entire post exists is because she was along for the ride. Obviously, I
would have never taken the following photos of myself. The only reason I am
actually posting them is to say “thank you” for allowing me to post all of
these hilarious photos and shenanigans a month ago. PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SEEHER EYEBALL POPPING OUT OVER A PASTA DISH AT DINNER.
Which leads me to introduce her guest post for the blog
today! Hold your applause. When I said this earlier she tells me, “Oh no no
no! I just took notes for you.” I’ll still call this one hers. Note: I promised
to edit and correct any errors. Done.
Cassie’s
Notes May 8, 2015
It's 755 and you have asked for nervous meds twice....
here's a tidbit of info- they do not keep that stuff at the reception desk.
Surprising huh?
Meds at 8
802 you joke about low blood pressure being attributed to your laid back
personality... HA
"Ignorance is bliss" is NOT your Forte...20 gazillion questions
sister please stop asking
810 I find out I CAN take pics... you lied to me, I feel so betrayed. BUT this
good news makes up for it
820 massage chair is in full effect…821 chair is off you almost died with the
earthquake sized vibrations
825 A neighbor 1 curtain over is feeling her meds...
Homero, "suffers" the wrath of 20 questions, but it's ok he met you
at a previous appointment so he was prepared.
828 you make the declaration of less nervousness (and our neighbor snorts)
831 you ask Homero if you can have a Margarita with dinner, he tells you that
probably isn't the best idea, so you say you can wait till breakfast.
You tell me you think he likes you- after he walks out (THANK GOD!)
834 Ramz calls to check on you ♡
You use your "quiet voice"...
Pre op discussion: essential oils, a shuttle for the ride home- party shuttle
bus, dollar shave club, Big Love, the new emoji options, Starbucks, All the
light you cannot see.
840 Dr. Heaton comes in and gives you the run down. PRK surgery or surface ablation
it is (we were hoping for the other/easier Lasik, but hey it’s gonna be
great!). And good news- if you move during the procedure it's NO BIG DEAL. Whew
what a relief, supposedly the laser has a super sophisticated pupil tracker.
But let's just stick with no moving!
And then he prays... this is my favorite. For you and your ojos and them and
their hands
845 He leaves, you are feeling good and we play a lil’ music trivia... you are
much better at this when you are unmedicated! "Give me one
reason".... = Tracy Chapman
You even tried Lionel Richie... no ma'am
900 am... this show is about to start!
903 numbing drops
904 you enter the surgical room, stumbling but you make it!
905 you are still asking questions and the nurses are cracking up. Pretty sure
I just heard margarita... again
Pre op nurse walks out laughing says you are funny... and you said it smelled
like McDonalds in there.
913 right eye done!
918 you are done!
You didn’t think I’d let her have
the last word, did you? She ain’t runnin’ this show. A few things Cass…
A. I was nervous. I needed a sedative. The receptionist was
the first person I saw with scrubs and an embroidered logo.
B. I have low blood pressure. FACT
Laid back personality=low blood pressure…FACT
C. Questions are acceptable. Was I supposed to wait until
after they had cut open my eyeball!?!?!
D. If you would have perused the assigned reading material
when you had the procedure you would
have noticed it actually says, “NO CAMERAS OR FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY.” I’m pretty
sure the nurse just liked you more.
E. Seriously, that massage chair made me throw up in my
mouth a little. There was an earthquake in my epiglottis.
F. Homero and I go way back…multiple weeks. AND more than
once he has said, “Do you have any questions?” Who knew personal ones weren’t really the standard response?
G. I’m pretty sure neighbor girl snorted because she was
speakin’ my language…if ya get my drift. Or her epiglottis was to blame.
H. Homero doesn’t laugh much. Does he not get the funny I’m
throwing all around? Lighten up fella.
I. Homero needs a margarita.
J. Were you even supporting and talking to me during this
time or only documenting??? Never mind you talked much much more than Ole Jus would have.
K. Sure glad I asked a lot of questions about the laser! Now
you know.
L. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO TRACY CHAPMAN IS! Still not sure if
it’s a man or woman.
M. It really did smell like McD’s in there! The french fries
to be exact.
N. Since when are you so multilingual? Forte? Ojos?
O. I wasn’t actually stumbling. I was highly amused when
nurses (and you) would jump to catch me if they thought I was falling.
Especially, when I pretended to lean against the “wall”, but it was really the
curtain room divider. That’s probably my favorite memory of the day.
Whew! Two sides to every story. Bless her. Thank heavens
Unfortunately, that’s where her written documentation of the day ends. I’d try
to fill in the gaps, but that about all I’ve got of the rest of the day…gaps
and naps. Her pictures tell the rest. She took me for Starbucks and sushi. I
only had to give her driving corrections/directions 3 times, and I’m not sure
my eyes were even open.
I am praying everyone has stopped reading by now so that the
following pictures will be seen by none. I would never post these of
myself!
Labels: Friendship
