The day before Mother’s Day Ramzee asks, “Mom? Are you
Westin’s mom, too? Zane said you’re not.”
Ummm.
I told her that I love him and Caitlyn just like I love her
and Zane even though they didn’t come out of my belly. Her inquisitive nature launched me into
thought.
Ramzee wasn’t there that day over ten years ago when I
accepted a proposal from her daddy. Neither were Caitlyn and Westin, but they
were a big part of the decision then. I
wasn’t choosing to marry one man and committing to build our lives together
from that day forward. The truth was
that he had started a life without me. He
was getting his driver’s license when I was going into kindergarten. He graduated high school before I ever made
it into middle school. He met and married a woman while I played board games
and prank called cute boys. He brought
two human beings into this world before I ever made it to college. He committed
in his early twenties to having children without consulting me. (Which probably
would have been odd anyway considering he had a wife at the time.) Years later when he wanted to marry me those
two kiddos were obviously a big consideration.
Luckily, he chose me. And I chose all three of them. Being a step parent isn’t for the faint of
heart. It is hard work. Trust me. We
have had so many ups and downs with more to come, but I will always be here for
them and have their back just like any other mom would.
The day we got married Caitlyn was 6 and Westin was 19
months old. I gained a husband and the
best two kids a girl could ask for. That was the day I became a mother. I didn’t carry them in utero for months, but
I truly do love them like I have. I have
the same hopes and dreams for them that I do for our other two kids. I treat them the same(at times probably
better) that I do my biological kids. I
feed them, do their laundry, medicate them when they are sick, help them with
homework, reprimand them when they fight with each other, ground them when they
are disrespectful. Best of all, I have
had the opportunity of praying with them, taking them to church, kissing them
goodnight and seeing them find success in different areas of their lives. I am the mom when they are here at our
house.
It isn’t about whether they call me Mom(Because they don’t. They’ve always called me Lacy.
Looking back I wish I would’ve come up with something unique like “Cleopatra”
or “Boss Lady” or “Simone” for them to call me, but I’m thinking it’s too late
now.) To me, it only matters how I feel about them. I am reluctant to even attempt to explain the
love I have for them. I don’t think the
words exist. They are two incredible
people that God has used to show me His great love. When I look at them I can catch a small
glimpse of the inconceivable passion with which our heavenly father loves
us. Caitlyn and Westin have taught me
what it means to love unconditionally. Nothing will ever change or diminish the
way I totally and completely adore them.
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Caitlyn and Westin have the luxury of two families that love them. We are a family of 6, and when they aren't with us something is clearly missing. They have another mother that they will spend Mother’s Day
with and I always miss them terribly that day because before I ever carried a
child of my own they made me a mom. I
often wonder how I got so lucky that I have the privilege to be their other
mother. God has sent me countless blessings in this lifetime but my FOUR kids
are right near the top. That’s something I know for sure this first Mother’s
Day I’m celebrating FROM THIS SIDE OF THIRTY.
